The Rebranding of Ocho Cinco 2.0, the Athletainer

Of all the ESPN discussion boards I have read (trust me, I don't know why I do so because people on there really aggravate me with their uneducated, über-biased opinions, but that is beside the point), most arguments claim that Chad Johnson (ahem, Chad Javon Ocho Cinco) isn't using proper Spanish grammar. My first beef with this is that most of the time this "argument" comes from people who can't properly distinguish the difference between your/you're, to/too/two and there/their/they're, who cannot effectively use ellipses, and who consistently abuse that poor caps lock key. Secondly, I consider myself pretty educated (I took the equivalent of eight years of Spanish throughout middle school, high school and college) in the Spanish language, despite the fact that I am nowhere near fluent (but trust me, I could still write you one helluva 3-page essay), and the fact that he calls himself "Ocho Cinco" instead of "Ochenta y Cinco" does not bother me. For those of us who watch and play sports, we know what it is like to encourage our fellow players by saying "Let's go one-nine" instead of saying "Let's go nineteen," or "Come on two-four" instead of "Come on twenty-four." I may use appropriate "ochenta y cinco" grammar in that essay I said I could write, but in all sports technicality, Ocho Cinco is correctly used. Besides, would you rather be called "Ocho Cinco" or "Ochenta y Cinco?" Sure, you may think it's a silly name either way, but that's neither here nor there.

With the rebranding boom going on right now (see Days Inn, Dairy Queen, BP, and Payless as only a few examples), I think he's doing great marketing for himself in a No Fun League full of should-be athletainers, a word hybrid Mr. Ocho Cinco so creatively coined himself.